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Personal development self help blog:

The Top 10 Best Ideas For Setting Goals
Small business entrepreneur self help article
about goal setting, by Hilton Johnson

You cannot pick up a book or participate in a training program today without the author or instructor teaching the power of goal setting.

Yet, most people today spend more time planning a two-week vacation than planning their lives by setting goals.

It's been said that achieving goals is not a problem--it's SETTING goals that is the problem. People just don't do it. They leave their lives to chance...and usually end up broke by the time they reach retirement.

I thought that since this is such an important ingredient for developing a successful network marketing business, this was a good time to share with you some of the greatest thoughts about goal setting that I've discovered over the years.

So, here goes...The Top 10 Best Ideas For Setting Goals:

1. Make A List Of Your Values
What's really important to you? Your family? Your religion? Your leisure time? Your hobbies? Decide on what your most important values in life are and then make sure that the goals you set are designed to include and enhance them.

2. Begin With The End In Mind
Tom Watson, the founder of IBM was once asked what he attributed the phenomenal success of IBM to and he said it was three things:

The first thing was that he created a very clear image in his mind of what he wanted his company to look like when it was done.

He then asked himself how would a company like that have to act on a day-to-day basis. And then in the very beginning of building his company, he began to act that way.

3. Project Yourself Into The Future
The late, great Earl Nightingale created a whole new industry (self-improvement) after a 20-year study on what made people successful. The bottom-line result of his research was simply, "We Become What We Think About."

Whatever thoughts dominate our minds most of the time are what we become. That's why goal setting is so critical in achieving success because it keeps us focused on what's really important to us. He then said that the easiest way to reach our goals is to pretend that we had ALREADY achieved our goals.

That is, begin to walk, talk and act as though we are already experiencing the success we seek. Then, those things will come to us naturally through the power of the subconscious mind.

4. Write Down The 10 Things You Want This Year
By making a list of the things that are important to you, you begin to create images in your mind. It's been said that your mind will actually create chaos if necessary to make images become a reality. Because of this, the list of ten things will probably result in you achieving at least eight of them within the year.

5. Create Your Storyboard
Get a piece of poster board and attach it to a wall in your office or home where you will see it often. As you go through magazines, brochures, etc. and you see the pictures of the things you want, cut them out and glue them to your storyboard.

In other words, make yourself a collage of the goals that excite you...knowing full well that as you look at them everyday, they will soon be yours.

6. The Three Most Important Things
Decide on three things that you want to achieve before you die. Then work backwards listing three things you want in the next twenty years, ten years, five years, this year, this month, this week and finally, the three most important things you want to accomplish today.

7. Ask Yourself Good Questions
As you think about your goals, instead of WISHING for them to come true, ask yourself HOW and WHAT CAN YOU DO to make them come true. The subconscious mind will respond to your questions far greater than just making statements or making wishes.

8. Focus On One Project At A Time
One of the greatest mistakes people make in setting goals is trying to work on too many things at one time. There is tremendous power in giving laser beam focused attention to just one idea, one project or one objective at a time.

9. Write Out An "Ideal Scenario"
Pretend that you are a newspaper reporter that has just finished an interview about the outstanding success that you've achieved and the article is now in the newspaper. How would it read? What would be the headline?

Write the article yourself, projecting yourself into the future as though it had already happened. Describe the activities of your daily routine now that are very successful. Don't forget the headline.

(Example: "Jane Doe Wins Top Network Marketing Award Of The Decade.")

10. Pray & Meditate
As you get into bed each evening, think about your goal before you drop off to sleep. Get a very clear colorful image in your mind of seeing yourself doing the things you'll be doing after you've reached your major goal. (Remember to include your values.) And then begin to ask and demand for these things through meditation and prayer.

Your Sales Coach,
Hilton Johnson
Sales Academy

Finding Balance In A Tilted World
Small business entrepreneur self help article by Stephen Fairley about life balance for business entrepreneur executive skills development

I was recently talking with one of my entrepreneur friends.

He has started three businesses in the last several years�a budding entrepreneur.
He was relating some of the joys he has experienced in those enterprises: a sense of freedom from the corporate world, pursuing his dreams and passions, setting his own schedule, controlling his destiny and a large potential for financial rewards.

However, he did mention a few downsides: little to no outside accountability, lack of consistent capital, feelings of loneliness, no steady revenue stream, feeling disconnected from others who don�t understand his drive to succeed, constant struggles to survive and a severe lack of work-life balance. Sound familiar?

I think most entrepreneurs struggle with similar issues, especially balance.

There are many reasons they can give for their lack of life balance and low satisfaction: �I have too much work to do. I just need a few more hours to finish this project. I need more money. I have bills to pay. My business depends on my hard work. My family needs more income. I am solely responsible for developing, marketing, selling and servicing my product or service.�
Any or all of these reasons may be true, which might lead entrepreneurs to find great difficulty in managing the two sides of entrepreneurship�balance and success.
How often do you struggle with working longer hours than you know you should to try and secure the next sale? How many times has your family and friends tried to pull you away from your office this last month?
Take a moment and count up the actual hours you have spent working this last week or month. There is always the temptation to do a little more, work a little harder, talk to one more potential customer in hopes of making one more sale.

What specific things are you doing to take care of yourself: physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
Many entrepreneurs overlook these vital areas of life in search of professional success, yet these areas are full of potential for sparking the creative, outside of the box thinking that leads entrepreneurs like yourself to discover life changing products and services and find a new perspective on your business venture.

ASSESS WHERE YOU ARE
Take a moment and write down these 8 life areas:
� friends & family
� fun & recreation
� physical environment & home
� romance & significant other
� fitness & health
� career
� finances
� personal & spiritual growth

Next to each area assess where you currently are.

On a scale of 1 to 7, with 1 being �completely dissatisfied� and 7 being �completely satisfied� mark how currently you are satisfied in each area.
Add up the totals of all eight areas before reading further. The scoring is at the end of this article.
DEVELOP A PLAN
As you look at your current level of satisfaction what patterns or themes do you see? Where areas are you the least satisfied with? The most?

For you who recognize a change is in order, here are five simple steps to help you start finding the work-life balance that leads to success:

1. Choose 1 area that you are dissatisfied with and would like to see some immediate improvement in. This should not be your worst or best scoring area, but somewhere in the middle.
Take a couple minutes and write down in detail what balance would look like for you in that area.

2. Now, get out your planner and make a note to yourself one week from today. In the note, write down:
� the area that you want to improve your level of satisfaction in

� the �score� where you are now and the �score� you want to be at the next week

� 2 things you are going to do to move yourself towards that goal over this next week

3. Tell someone about your goal and ask them to hold you accountable�whether it�s a friend, a mentor, or your coach. It�s easy to make �new year, new leaf� promises to yourself, but more difficult to follow through with unless you know someone is holding you accountable to reach your goal.
4. Set up a time to talk with your accountability partner the next week. Did you reach your goal? If not, talk about what kept you from reaching it and what will you do differently this next week.
If you did reach your goal, congratulate yourself. Do something simple to celebrate your achievement.
5. The final step is to go back to step 1 and do it over again.
Creating life balance is never easy and it�s never complete. There will always be room for improvement.
The point is that you can make your life more balanced by taking small steps in the right direction. Like most worthwhile things in life, creating life balance is a process, not an event!
SCORING RANGE
8�16 Wow! Things must be pretty rough right now.
17�30 Average score of many small business owners
30�45 There are some very satisfying and very dissatisfying areas in your life 45�56 You recognize the importance of life balance to life success

Stephen Fairley, M.A., RCC is the President of Today's Leadership Coaching, a premier executive coaching and training firm, and a Registered Corporate Coach (RCC). Today's Leadership Coaching focuses on �Developing Leaders Who Deliver Results.� You can contact him at 630-588-0500 or at Stephen@TodaysLeadership.com � 2001 by Stephen Fairley. All rights reserved. Please contact author for reprints

Personal development self help blog:

30th June

ON THE JOB: Enjoy yourself AT WORK so that you are happier in all areas of your life

We spend so much time at work, whether it be at home or in a business, that what happen during those hours will impact on our view of our whole day, life and the world in general.

We need to develop skills in overcoming obstacles that we will inevitably encounter every day so that we can still enjoy the rest of our lives.

1. Take care of yourself. Healthy eating habits, following a regular sleep routine and exercise all contribute to your well being which allows you to perform at your best.

2. Do the worst first. If you find you cannot stop worrying about a certain task, then do the worst task first. Once that task is completed you will feel relieved and able to concentrate on the rest of your tasks, one at a time.

3. Focus on the task at hand. Attempting too much at once and underestimating the time it takes to do it will surely put you right back in the center of feeling overwhelmed and a step behind.

4. Control the phone. Decide when and where you will answer the phone. During off-time--use voice mail.

5. Separate work from play. Are you running the dinner table conversation the same as a meeting of the Board of Directors? Think about it.

6. Keep a Master List. Merge all your to-do lists, schedules and activity lists into one Master List. Use the technology that works for you whether it is index cards, spiral notebook, computer or a PDA.

7. Clean off your desk. Clutter is a distraction and time waster. How much time do you waste looking for documents and files?

8. Learn to say no. Take a reality break and identify what you can reasonably expect to get done. Accept your limitations and control your expectations. Would you really expect anybody else to work as hard as you do?

9. Use technology to help you. Create systems for handling your routine tasks. Take the time to learn how to use your computer to improve your efficiency to perform routine business tasks. Use templates for letters, faxes and email.

10. Slow down. Are you rushing through everything? Stop, look and listen.

Personal development self help blog:

29th June

Calculating your retirement by Laura Bruce

If you retire at age 65, your retirement could last 30 years or more. And many of you would like to say adieu to the work-a-day world when you're in your 50s. Will you have the financial wherewithal to do that?

Of course, that answer is determined by how much money is available in your retirement plan, Social Security benefits and any additional personal savings or investments. Will it be enough? The odds are, you don't know.

But experts say having a realistic estimate of how much income you'll need during retirement is key to a successful retirement plan.

Think about the future Only about a third of us take the time to calculate our retirement needs. The American Savings Education Council says people who calculate their needs are far more likely to hit the target than those who just plunk an arbitrary amount into a 401(k). (USA reference)

Unfortunately, too many people guess and shortchange themselves, according to Bob Barry, president of the Financial Planning Association.

"People have a weird concept of what they're going to spend money on. People who make $160,000 say they'll need $40,000 to $50,000 a year when they retire." In fact, the person making $160,000 a year is likely to need at least $112,000 per year in retirement. That's right.

For most of us it's best to count on needing 70 percent to 90 percent of our pre-retirement income to live comfortably.

The ASEC's annual retirement confidence survey shows 17 percent of workers believe they'll need less than half of their pre-retirement income, and another 25 percent expect to need no more than 60 percent.

Perhaps people underestimate their future needs because they're doing a poor job of saving for retirement and they'd rather not know how far off the mark they are. The ASEC says less than 25 percent of those ages 40 to 59 have saved $100,000 or more.

A fair question is just how do you go about assessing your future income needs? Is it really as simple as determining 70 percent or 90 percent of your current income? No. There's that pesky inflation factor. What return will your savings and investments generate? Will there be a long bear market in your saving years, or your retirement years?

Do you want to travel the world and stay at first-class hotels or would you be happy renting an RV to visit Mount Rushmore?

And that's just for starters.

If you really want to get a grip on what you'll need for retirement, talk with an adviser, such as a certified financial planner.

"Your life should control your finances, not your finances control your life," says Barry.

"Spend time telling us what you'd like your life to be like in retirement and we'll tell you what you need to fund it. Be ready to spend a significant amount of time talking about what you've learned about money, what you're passionate about, what you want to do.

"If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you have five years to live -- and you'd be in pretty good health until then -- whatever is incorporated in that answer is what the financial planner should consider."

Seeing a planner is undoubtedly your best bet, but given that most of you probably aren't reaching for the phone book to find one, we'll look at an alternative that's a step in the right direction (and is free): a retirement calculator, the kind available on dozens of personal finance Web sites including this one.

( at Bankrate.com) "What's critical to a successful retirement is to get started as soon as possible. The calculations will show you how big the job is, and it's a really big job," says Stewart Welch of The Welch Group in Birmingham, Ala.

Go figure

One problem though is the calculators themselves. Some ask a lot of questions, others hardly any. Some will say you can retire at 60, others will have you working until you're 75.

Welch agrees the calculators have limitations, but says just going through the math is helpful.

"The fact that you can go to three different calculators and get three fairly significantly different answers isn't so problematic. It's a good idea to not assume one will give you the correct answer.

What's really important is to go through the exercise, and it's even more important to repeat the exercise.

"Don't assume you're going to do a calculation now and find you have to invest $1,000 a month and just do that for 20 years.

Review it on an annual basis. If we got on a plane for Seattle and set the initial course, we'd end up in the ocean if we didn't fine tune it along the way."

Michael Everett, professor of economics and finance at East Tennessee State University, says he's never been comfortable with any of the calculators he's tried on the Internet.

"I didn't know the assumptions they were using. Were they real returns, or nominal returns? You hear most stocks return 12 percent on average, but is it a real or nominal return? If you had $100 and got 12 percent, at the end of the year you could buy $12 more goods if it was a real return.

But if it was nominal -- say inflation was 5 percent that year -- you'd only be able to buy $7 more goods. "The next question is, what do you think the inflation rate will be? Well, how do I know?"

Everett would like to see software developers come up with more powerful and user-friendly calculators that would run varying portfolios -stocks, bonds, or balanced -- over different historical periods to see how they perform over good roads and bad roads.

"We could say let's retire you in 1928 and put all your money in stocks. Actually, you don't do too badly," says Everett. "You could do worse if you put all your money in stocks in 1965. It wasn't as deep but it was more prolonged.

The market started down in 1928 and bottomed in 1933. In the '60s and '70s, the market started down in '68 and didn't recover until '89."

Everett says it's important to add a historical perspective when calculating retirement needs because we can't assume that history won't repeat.

"Our markets are extremely overvalued by historical standards -- much more so than 1929. The market could collapse or go sideways for 10 years.

Look at Japan. We used to think they would take over the world. In the '80s their market went up threefold, in the '90s it collapsed threefold."

That type of analysis shows why Everett doesn't like to apply averages, as in returns, when it comes to individuals.

Averages, says Everett, are fine for pension managers. "An individual is going to get a return in one specific period. A lot of advice is based on those averages. Averages look less risky. You average out the good and the bad so the returns don't fluctuate so much.

But what happens for an individual could be much better or much worse. In general, an individual's risk is much greater than the average."

Whether you visit a planner or use an online calculator, you'll need to have a good idea of how much income you can expect in your retirement years. Each year, around your birthday, the Social Security Administration sends you a statement estimating the benefits you'll be receiving.

================================================= Go to Bankrate.com for more articles on finance and retirement, and also to use their calculators as well as other retirement planning tips from the Social Security Administration. Another site that has several retirement calculators is Choose To Save.

Personal development self help blog:

28th June

Deep Sleep: The Great Rejuvenator

An article in the June 3 issue of New Scientist says if you ignore your body's natural clock by working and playing at any time of the day or night, you could set a time bomb for illness, injury and even death, according to sleep experts.

The price of ignoring your natural sleep patterns can range from aches and pains to heart disease to chronic fatigue syndrome.

A regular bedtime can be as important to your health as stopping smoking or cutting back on saturated fat.

Your biological clock, nestled in the hypothalamus region of your brain, controls what time you eat and rest, the rhythmic surge of hormones, changes in body temperature, immune system activity and a host of other body functions.

Different people have different sleep patterns. Some are morning people while others are nocturnal creatures. Problems arise when you ignore your natural body rhythms to meet the demands of work or family says the article.

People who restrict their sleep or are engaged in shift work where sleep becomes fragmented and disturbed are at risk for cardiovascular disease.

This has been shown in nurses who have been engaged in shift work over a long period of time. They show an increased risk for heart attacks.

Sleep debt can also contribute to depression, and lost sleep creates dangers at work and on the roads.

Sleep deprivation results in impairment in people's capabilities to operate in their usual, expected way, and they would not necessarily know that they are impaired. Most people require roughly seven to eight hours of sleep a night to stay alert through the day. Some of the warning signs of sleep deprivation include fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, confusion and depression.

Even while getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep, starting with middle age, and worsening from there on, sleep tends to become less and less deep.

Deep sleep, known as stage III and IV sleep, is where most of the healing, repair and regeneration takes place.

It is also when the body secretes the most growth hormone. Therefore promoting deep sleep is a key to feeling young in body, mind and spirit.

So remember, one of the secrets of staying young is to sleep like a baby! And by using the right combination of lifestyle and products below, you can come closer at least.

Recommended Lifestyle and Supplement Protocol for Mild Depression As always make sure you have the basics covered.

Good dietary habits, regular exercise, rejuvenating sleep, with alcohol, caffeine and tobacco avoided or in moderation at least.

Taking a very complete six-a-day multivitamin/mineral (MultiWellness) is essential. Men over 40 should consider adding to the above Hgh Plus and MaleWellness, as these hormones tend to restore a more youthful, confident and an optimistic state of mind.

Women over 40 may want to enhance progesterone (Projuvine) especially if their symptoms are pre-menstrual.

Women at or past the "change of life" should consider Hgh Plus and either Projuvine or EstroPro.

The latter contains progesterone and three natural estrogens. Estrogen is thought to be very protective of the mind, so unless there is strong breast cancer concern or risk, or one is already on estrogens, EstroPro comes highly recommended. Progesterone (Projuvine) is a natural antidepressant.

The other basic is deep sleep. Exercise, avoiding caffeine after noon, dark rooms, white noise, cool bedrooms and hot baths are all helpful. Three different RxforWellness products promote sleep. PM Wellness is herbs and minerals for adults of any age.

It may take two weeks for the effects to be noticed by some. Melatonin is more indicated the more above 40 you are. Also, night workers, those travelling across time zones, and women with hot flashes often do well with melatonin (Sleep Wellness). 5-HTP is the other great natural sleep inducer.

It is also an antidepressant, anti-anxiolytic and tends to curb carbohydrate and chocolate craves. Therefore, if your depression is strongly related to poor and difficult sleep, 5-HTP is to be strongly considered. 5-HTP is presented more fully below. Please keep in mind that many common prescription medications cause tiredness, loss of libido and flattening of emotions. So always consult your doctor.

Now if you have been following the above recommendations for several months and still feel in low spirits, then supplementation specific for mood elevation is likely indicated.

Personal development self help blog:

27th June

Nitty-Gritty Reasons by Jim Rohn

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be motivated to achievement by such a lofty goal as benevolence? I must confess, however, that in the early years of my struggle to succeed, my motivation was a lot more down-to-earth. My reason for succeeding was more basic. In fact, it fell into the category of what I like to call "nitty-gritty reasons." A nitty-gritty reason is the kind that any one of us can have -- at any time, on any day -- and it can cause our lives to change. Let me tell you what happened to me . . .

Shortly before I met Mr. Shoaff, I was lounging at home one day when I heard a knock at the door. It was a timid, hesitant knock. When I opened the door I looked down to see a pair of big brown eyes staring up at me. There stood a frail little girl of about ten. She told me, with all the courage and determination her little heart could muster, that she was selling Girl Scout cookies. It was a masterful presentation -- several flavors, a special deal, and only two dollars per box. How could anyone refuse? Finally, with a big smile and ever-so politely, she asked me to buy. And I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to!

Except for one thing. I didn't have two dollars! Boy, was I embarrassed! Here I was -- a father, had been to college, was gainfully employed -- and yet I didn't have two dollars to my name.

Naturally I couldn't tell this to the little girl with the big brown eyes. So I did the next best thing. I lied to her. I said, "Thanks, but I've already bought Girl Scout cookies this year. And I've still got plenty stacked in the house."

Now that simply wasn't true. But it was the only thing I could think of to get me off the hook. And it did. The little girl said, "That's okay, sir. Thank you very much." And with that she turned around and went on her way.

I stared after her for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, I closed the door behind me and, leaning my back to it, cried out, "I don't want to live like this anymore. I've had it with being broke, and I've had it with lying. I'll never be embarrassed again by not having any money in my pocket." That day I promised myself to earn enough to always have several hundred dollars in my pocket at all times.

This is what I mean by a nitty-gritty reason. It may not win me any prize for greatness, but it was enough to have a permanent effect on the rest of my life.

My Girl-Scout-cookie story does have a happy ending. Several years later, as I was walking out of my bank where I had just made a hefty deposit and was crossing the street to get into my car, I saw two little girls who were selling candy for some girls' organization. One of them approached me, saying, "Mister, would you like to buy some candy?"

"I probably would," I said playfully. "What kind of candy do you have?"

"It's almond roca."

"Almond roca. That's my favorite. How much is it?"

"It's only two dollars."

Two dollars. It couldn't be! I was excited. "How many boxes of candy have you got?"

"I've got five."

Looking at her friend, I said, "And how many boxes do you have left?"

"I've got four."

"That's nine. Okay, I'll take them all."

At this, both girls' mouths fell open as they exclaimed in unison, "Really?"

"Sure," I said. "I've got some friends that I'll pass some around to."

Excitedly, they scurried to stack all the boxes together. I reached into my pocket and gave them eighteen dollars. As I was about to leave, the boxes tucked under my arm, one of the girls looked up and said, "Mister, you're really something!" How about that! Can you imagine spending only eighteen dollars and having someone look you in the face and say, "You're really something!"

Now you know why I always carry a few hundred dollars on me. I'm not about to miss chances like that ever again.

And to think it all resulted from my own embarrassment, that when properly channeled, acted as a powerful motivator to help me achieve.

How about you? What nitty-gritty reasons do you have waiting to challenging and provoke you into change for the better? Look for them, they are there. Sometimes it can be as simple as a brown-eyed girl selling Girl Scout cookies.

To Your Success, Jim Rohn

Personal development self help blog:

26th June

Establishing Dreams and Goals by Jim Rohn (Excerpted from Week Six of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan)

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives.

But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Until next week, let's do something remarkable!

Jim Rohn

Personal development self help blog:

25th June

Mood and Memory Wellness: How to be Spirited and Sharp for 100 Years!

Oliver Wendell Holmes, the American writer and physician, wrote to a colleague poet on her seventieth birthday:

"To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old."

"Few people know how to be old", wrote La Rochefoucauld in his Maximes.

Successful aging becomes increasingly an important issue, as in our "grey world" the segment of the elderly population is on the rise.

In Germany, the number of centenarians was over 4000 in 1993 and is estimated to reach up to 23,000 this year (2000).

In the US, the over 85 group is the fastest growing segment of the population. Mental activity is of paramount importance for maintaining the ability to cope adequately with stress, with health problems, limitations and handicaps, and particularly for the persisting capability to enjoy life.

It is becoming more and more clear that aging is not necessarily equivalent with decay and decrepitude. Factors such as diet, nutrition, physical and mental exercise have been underestimated or ignored as potential moderators of the aging process. There are risk factors that are known to increase morbidity in the elderly and which can be prevented. They include cigarette smoking, heavy alcohol consumption and inadequate water, mineral and B vitamin intake.

There are studies indicating that much of the cognitive loss in late middle life that has been considered to be intrinsic to aging, is caused in part by extrinsic factors and may therefore be preventable or reversible.

Practical Hints to Keep Your Brain Healthy

Maintaining the health of your brain and body is not only important for you but also for your family and friends.

Although the brain ages in parallel with other organs of our body, an increasing number of productive and creative elderly persons bear testimony to the brain's remarkable capacity to function at an exceptional level even at an advanced age. Are there ways to keep the brain functional? Absolutely!

First, be on guard. A significant change in your personality, mood, or behavior (sometimes noted by others) could be a sign for a disorder that should be treated. Consult your physician, especially if the simple recommendations herein do not improve your mood and memory.

1) Keep your brain busy. Engage in mental exercise such as reading, puzzle solving, playing an instrument, playing games, learning new skills (e.g. take a language course, enroll in courses offered by the university for senior citizens), taking part in discussion groups.

2) A healthy brain lives in a healthy body. Regularly perform physical exercise to maintain muscle strength, endurance, and mobility. By exercising your body, you also exercise your brain because the control and coordination of your limbs is controlled by the brain. Keep your body in good shape by an adequate diet. Stay well hydrated with plenty of water. Endeavor to get the deepest sleep you can, as deep sleep is the great rejuvenator.

3) Avoid risks to the health of your body. Do not smoke, do not consume excessive amounts of alcohol and caffeine. Be careful and sensitive to the possible side effects of medications.

4) Prepare for the future. When you retire from your job, have an alternative social structure ready to keep you stimulated and challenged. Margaret Mead, the well-known anthropologist, said:

"If you associate enough with older people who do enjoy their lives, who are not stored away in any golden ghettos, you will gain a sense of continuity and of the possibility for a full life".

Avoid becoming isolated and lonely!

5) Feed your head. As we get older it becomes even more important that we endeavor to keep our antioxidants and the hormones of youth optimal, while keeping the hormones of age, insulin and cortisol, under control.

We also want to consider herbs, amino acids, vitamins and other nutrients that can help keep our mood and memory young.

Personal development self help blog:

24th June

Your chances of staying healthy and living a long time can be improved if you:

1. Stay physically, mentally, and socially active.

2. Eat a nutrient dense diet of small frequent meals, including 5 to 9 helpings of fruits and vegetables a day. Don't over eat, even "good" food!

3. Get regular health check-ups and screening tests for heart disease and common cancers (skin, colon, lung, prostate, breast, cervical). Don't delay seeing your doctor for new symptoms, especially over 40!

4. Avoid overexposure to the sun and cold, don't smoke (it's never too late to quit), drink in moderation and don't drink and drive!

5. Practice safety habits at home to prevent falls and fractures. Always wear your seat belt in a car.

6. Keep or develop a spiritual belief system that enables you to re-negotiate life at every turn, adjusting to and accepting the inevitable losses and changes that come with longevity.

7. Cultivate (or keep) a love of and appreciation for life and others, and a positive, yet realistic, attitude. Don't sweat the small stuff. Do the things that make you happy. NOW!

8. Keep personal and financial records in order to simplify budgeting and investing. Plan long-term housing and money needs.

9. Supplement your diet, adding an iron free multi-vitamin/mineral and anti-oxidant supplementation. Keep abreast of the advances in natural medicine and anti-aging.

10. If you desire feeling, performing and looking young as long as possible, maintain the "hormones of youth" (HGH, DHEA, sex hormones, melatonin) at optimal levels through natural hormonal enhancements.

Personal development self help blog:

23rd June

Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate,

Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate, self help article by Carol Halsey

Have you ever spent time thinking about a task you need to tackle but keep putting off, then spend time telling yourself you just must get started and wondering when you will start it, and then feeling guilty because you are working on other tasks instead. Yet this one keeps hanging over your head.

If this sounds familiar, you may be one of the many people who procrastinate, and procrastination is probably the biggest time waster.

Putting off the inevitable, sometimes until a deadline is staring you in the face, causes the highest stress level, and results in managing time by crises. There are many reasons why people procrastinate. For some it happens occasionally under specific circumstances, and for others, it is a way of life. Here we will explore a few of the reasons behind why people procrastinate.

1. Poor work habits. These people procrastinate on everything. They are so far behind that they are constantly trying to keep up with yesterday. Boy, talk about high stress!! Their response is usually, "I work best under pressure." If the truth be known, they are poor organizers and have trouble prioritising tasks and scheduling their time. It is easier to wait until the last minute to start a task because in their mind it is now important.

2. Feeling overwhelmed. When we don't know how to do something, it is easier not to do anything at all. Or maybe we feel it would be too time consuming to learn what is needed to accomplish a particular task. It seems like it would take forever to complete. This is the time to break the task down into manageable parts. Decide a starting point and work for short periods of time, say 10 to 20 minutes. Then check off each part as completed. This imparts the feeling of accomplishment as work is being completed.

3. Trying to be perfect. What may be the goal of the perfectionist may well be looked on by others as nitpicking. Perfectionists usually see their responsibilities as burdens, making it more difficult for them to accomplish tasks in a timely manner. They start tasks but put off completion until it meets their standards for perfection. However, these standards are most likely not recognized or appreciated by others, and thereby the perfectionist has wasted a lot of time to accomplish the unnecessary. The perfectionist could strive for excellence rather than perfection.

Excellence is defined as "very good of its kind" or " high-quality performance." Perfection is defined as "the condition of being flawless" which is not impossible, but most unlikely to achieve. Focus on what is realistic rather than what is ideal. Do the best you can in the time allowed. The time investment should be appropriate to the magnitude of the task or project.

4. Rather do something else. Unfortunately, we all dislike certain tasks that we have to do anyway. It could be filing, expense reports, or writing a report. So we keep putting it off, wishing it would go away. Think what would happen by delaying all unpleasant duties. After a while, their numbers build up to where that's all there is to do. Then everything is unpleasant.

Consider the consequences of not doing the unpleasant task. Recognize that it will not go away, but just delaying the inevitable.

Identify why you procrastinate on a particular task or project - do you hate it, are you feeling overwhelmed by a pending deadline, have a fear of failure, or are you just waiting for the' right time' to start.

Try setting aside a half hour a day to get started on whatever you are putting off. By working a half hour at a time, you will overcome the overwhelmed feeling and increase the momentum to work faster. Consider the risks of waiting for that last minute 'high.' What if you got sick, priorities changed, or an unexpected crises or event developed. Recall the nightmare experienced the last time you procrastinated until the last minute.

When we procrastinate, we get behind before we even start, and create a major time problem. �2001 Carol Halsey is Founder and President of http://www.PilesToFiles.com.

Personal development self help blog:

22nd June

If we stop and think about it, most of us do know how to live on one income. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Remember those College Days. Bet funds were limited then. If you don't remember, look up some campus newspapers on the internet and see what the poor crowd are doing for entertainment.

2. Think about those lazy, hazy summer days of tenting and cottaging. If you simplify your life drastically, people will say your lifestyle reminds them of being at the cottage.

3. Visit your grandmother or great grandmother and her friends. Many people who lived through the depression know lots and lots about household economy. They also know how to put a good face on poverty and present an elegant lifestyle to the world.

4. Go to the Library. There are all kinds of books on decorating, learning to cook, learning to clean, making things, etc.

Personal development self help blog:

21ST June

Stress Busters, self help stress management article by Tracie Johansen

Happiness and wellbeing self help article about self help, stress management, stress therapy, happiness, personal development, relaxation therapy.

It seems we never have enough time to get everything done.

You run all day and just when you think you can relax something else comes up. Here are a few ways to ease your everyday stress that only takes a few minutes, but will make your life a little easier.

1.) Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and breath deeply in through your nose filling your chest with air. Breath out slowly through your mouth releasing the problems of the day. Think only about the things that make you happy. Do this for 5 minutes.

2.) Sit in a comfortable position. Lean your head against the back of a chair. Close eyes, take a deep breath and place each thumb at a point on the base of the skull near each ear. Move thumbs downward from ears to shoulder tops; press and hold tense spots as you go. Then rub back of neck from base of skull downward, pressing and holding tense spots. Cross one arm over chest and press muscles along top of opposite shoulder; hold until tension is released. Repeat with other arm. Drop arms to sides, and breath, imagining your skull is heavy as a bowling ball. Relax completely.

3.) Take a Bubble Bath. Light scented candles all around you, and turn off the lights and listen to classical music. Imagine your self on a quiet Tropical Island. See your self relaxing on a great lounge chair while servants take care of your every need.

4.) Get a good night's sleep: Don't drink coffee or eat too late as it makes it difficult to sleep. Try listening to soothing music as you drift off to sleep. Don't think about what you need to do the next day.

One thing that works well for me is counting backwards from 600 to 0 by 4's ie; 600, 596, 592, 588, 584, this makes it very difficult to think of other things that keep you awake.

5.) Add a few drops of calming aroma to Canola or Sunflower oil. Smooth on temples or earlobes.

6.) Exercise; It increases blood flow, bringing more oxygen to your brain and un kinks tight muscles.

7.) To ease kinks out of shoulders and upper body. While sitting at your desk, alternate each arm, reaching toward the ceiling. Do this for 5 minutes.

8.) Light scented candles around the room. Turn off lights lay on your back and reach arms and legs toward the ceiling. Rotate, starting with each arm and then each leg. Do this for 10 minutes.

9.) Rotate your head stretching as far as you can. Start to your right shoulder, then to the back as if looking at the ceiling, then to left shoulder then to front, putting your chin to your chest. Do for a few minutes then rotate starting with left shoulder.

10.)Close your eyes. Lift both arms over your head until your hands touch. Slowly lower your arms down to your sides up and down as if in a flying motion. Imagine you are a bird flying over the ocean. Let your imagination soar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ � 2000-2001 Tracie Johansen Excerpts from 1001 Beauty Tips. Get Your copy now at http://www.1001beautytips.com. Homemade skin and hair care, beauty tips, weight loss tips, recipes, nutrition tips and more.

Personal development self help blog:

20th June

Set Up a Game Night for Family Fun,

Could your family benefit from something different than the typical night at the movies and a burger?

Then look no further than your own family room for a way to create fun, learning and unity.

Creating a regular family game night is one way to break the routine and inject some laughter into what might be a dull mix of events, obligations and chores. Learning opportunities and family unity go along with the fun. Here are a few pointers to help make it happen:

* Whether you schedule the game night weekly or monthly, be sure that nothing except emergencies will be allowed to interfere. Kids need to know they can count on this special night.

* Stay focused on the event by limiting all outside distractions. For example, allow voice mail to manage telephone calls. Everyone will enjoy the activities more and the children will see that you are really tuned in to them.

* If the children want to stretch the game night to the last minute, have them put on their pyjamas so they are ready for bed.

* Instead of dinner, prepare a variety of appetizers. For example, you could serve veggies and dip, mozzarella cheese sticks, buffalo wings, fruit, and finger sandwiches. Let the kids graze in between turns. It's a fun alternative to your nightly routine.

* Stock up on a variety of board games suitable for your age groups. There are plenty of games on the market that teach reasoning, coordination and spelling, but Clue, Scrabble and Yahtzee are traditional popular choices.

* Occasionally invite friends over to provide greater social interaction. Children will be able to practice good sportsmanship while being competitive, and they will be exposed to various learning opportunities for developing patience and generousity. Now and then, throw in some video games as another way to spice things up.

* Give the children some ownership of the activity by allowing them to choose the games, decide which night works best, and select and prepare the appetizers. The more involvement they have, the more sustained their interest will be.

* Once in a while, you could use the scheduled time to go bowling, go-cart racing, or miniature golfing. Keep it active -- family game night shouldn't be used for anything non-game oriented.

With family game night, you have special family time set aside regardless of what else occurs during the week. It is a time for bonding, learning, and experimenting with the spirit of competition in a safe atmosphere. Your children will learn important skills and values while spending time with the people they love and trust the most -- their parents.

Andy Pavanov edits the Good Games newsletter at http://www.yngames.com

Personal development self help blog:

19th June

self help logic for flexible Parents, on discipline for children

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...

here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was

"DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you? " said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it! " Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Quick, send this page link on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing.

Personal development self help blog:

18th June

15 Goal Setting Tips for Parents

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan.

While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.

A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them.

Don�t be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world�s hardest job but children aren�t born with owner�s manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.

As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year�s resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year�s resolutions.

1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids� misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground.

When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to �teach them a lesson�.

2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings.

It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of �deaf� children. There is usually nothing wrong with children�s hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.

3. Focus on children�s positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children�s misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible.

Get into the habit of �catching kids being good�. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.

4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children�s self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children.

Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That�s a good start.

5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.

6. Give yourself a regular break. Don�t be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury.

Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.

7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and don�t talk about the kids.

8. Make guilt work for you. Let�s face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt.

Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child�s school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.

9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families.

Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.

10. Stay out of children�s fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children�s battles then leave it up to them to resolve.

When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.

11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.

12. Check your children�s computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents.

Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.

13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn�t get her own way?

Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children�s demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.

14. Avoid the �good� parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life�s difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility.

They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children�s overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.

15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world�s worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out.

Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.

For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe

--- Michael Grose � www.parentingideas.com.au Michael Grose - helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers Australia's most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Personal development self help blog:

17th June

Top Ten Steps to Pursuing Your Dreams in the New Year By Donna P. Lendzyk Many people are not very successful in pursuing their dreams or with New Year's Resolutions while other people seem to easily achieve whatever they choose to pursue. The question for each of us is "How can I make it happen for me?"

1. Recognize & Celebrate Your Successes Of This Past Year Take your time, sit back & reflect on the last 12 months on what are your achievements & write them down. Include items like "I watched less television" or "I was less bothered by �" etc. Then once you have your list, take some time to show your pleasure & pride with your successes. You deserve it. We often take our successes for granted & yet this is a key step in having confidence to take on new challenges. Pick an activity or a way to celebrate that is right for you.

2. Identify Your Dreams For This Upcoming Year Create 3-6 specific & short statements that identify what you really want. Then reflect & write down 2-4 sentences on what it will be like when you have achieved each of these goals. Be as descriptive as you can. Put this information somewhere you can pull out readily throughout your day.

3. Identify Your Key Steps You Will Take In The Next 3 Months That Will Move You Towards Your Dreams

You may prefer more broad strategic statements or you may prefer very specific tasks -- either way is fine -- select the approach that is right for you. Check that the steps you have selected are doable during this timeframe.

4. Commit To Yourself Daily That These Key Steps Are Your Priorities For Change During This Time Other opportunities will come your way & you will need to choose if you will be distracted or not. You may want to review the material you prepared for item #2 on a daily basis to remind yourself why these key steps are so important for you.

5. Secure The Support That You Need To Be Successful We can be a lot more successful if we share our desires with someone we trust. This could be your friend, family member or a personal development coach. You may want more than one person's support. You may also need some tools to help you out like a daily reminder in your day timer or calendar.

6. Action Your Key Steps This is the most important step of all. Take that first step -- it's amazing how much enthusiasm & confidence you have for other items once you have a win or two.

7. Track Your Progress On A Regular Basis This may be on a daily, weekly or monthly basis -- you choose what's right for you. The key here is to keep track of you wins & look at your next ones to take. This aids in momentum.

8. Keep Your Cool -- Remember That Life Still Goes On At times, you may get overwhelmed with all you want to get done & that you may simply not have sufficient time in your day for everything. Be kind to yourself. I hear "Rome wasn't built in a day". You may also need to reduce or eliminate something temporarily or permanently that takes a lot of your time but is less important than your key steps. You may need to reduce the number of key steps you take at this time.

9. Celebrate Your Successes It is really important that you celebrate your successes. It may be through writing yourself a congratulations letter with full details of what the accomplishments were & how you feel about it. Or it could be taking a nice, quiet bath where you pamper yourself. Choose to celebrate in a way that you will appreciate.

10. Repeat If you have chosen some big goals / dreams, you may not have them fully realized in the first 3 months, so you will need to repeat steps 3-9. (c) 2002 Donna P. Lendzyk Donna P. Lendzyk is a professional coach and creator of the Overcome Overwhelm System. She coaches businesswomen to "Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Their Desired Results." She is the author of the multi-media �Overcome Overwhelm eProgram.� To learn more about her eprogram and sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her website at http://www.overcomeoverwhelm.com

Personal development self help blog:

16th June

Emotion Management: a happiness strategy for couples. �You will find happiness in the exact same place you will find sadness. In your mind.� Pauline Kennedy The highly awarded social researcher David Myers, believes there are four character traits which people who are happy tend to have.

1. Self Esteem � happy people like themselves

2. Personal Control � happy people believe they are running their own lives

3. Optimism � happy people are filled with hope.

4. Being extroverted � happy people tend to be more outgoing. While you may not be born with those characteristics, you can certainly develop them. For a start, stop taking yourself so seriously. To make God laugh, all you have to do is tell Her your serious life plans. Here are some strategies for managing your emotional temperature to help keep it set on �happy�.

Celebrate every happy day. When the day flows for you, and your inner sun is shining brightly � celebrate it and congratulate yourself on making your day happy. Buy a little gift for yourself. Or give one to some one else. Make a note in your Journal, and notice how much more often you have reason to write about your happiness.

Guideline for living the simple abundance of life: No doubt that if we lived these suggestions every day, not just thought about them, we would realize as the Nearings did, that the good life is truly here and now. Do the best you can, whatever arises

Be at peace with yourself

Find a job you enjoy

Live in simple conditions

Contact nature every day, feel the earth under your feet

Take some physical exercise through hard work

Don�t worry, live one day at a time

Share something every day with someone else, write a note, help someone

Take time to contemplate and wonder at the world, have a laugh at life

Observe the one life in all things

Be kind to all the creatures, don�t hurt any living creature.

Personal development self help blog:

15th June

Live a Longer and Healthier Life.

You should balance your activities with the proper amount of rest. Some of the leading experts in the field of aging now believe that regular exercise along with the proper amount of rest may actually add years to the life span. Results from a number of tests indicate that speed and muscular strength of many of the elderly can be extended.

Leading authorities agree that this new data is going to shatter many of the myths about aging and physical performance. The conclusion now is that the performance and ability of the elderly has long been underestimated. Diet, proper sleep and exercise along with rest and relaxation are all important factors in preserving our bodies.

Laughter is one of the best things for your mental and physical state. People are naturally attracted to someone who has a good sense of humor. You can develop a good outlook and a good sense of humor by associating with and surrounding yourself with pleasant happy people.

Recognize that stress is a killer. A life filled with stress can really wreck havoc on your body, causing a number of illnesses such as heart attacks, strokes, asthma, gastric problems, menstrual disorders, ulcerative colitis, angina, irritable colon, increased blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, etc.

There are different types of stress such as mental, emotional and physical. Emotional stress seems to take the greatest toll on everyone. All stress is not bad; in fact life would not be very interesting if it were not met with challenges. However, too much stress, too often with no effective and appropriate outlet, does not allow the body and soul to recuperate.

You might review a typical week to see if you can identify things that might be making you anxious or causing you stress. Once identified, stressors can be attacked and eliminated.

Are you a worrier? Chronic worriers don't have more serious problems than others - they just think they do. Many worriers try to cope by trying not to think about their problems, but this just makes things worse. Doctors say that chronic worriers feel less anxious if they actually spend a half-hour a day thinking specifically about their problems.

Get plenty of exercise. People who are physically fit look good and feel good. A good exercise regimen will lengthen your life, improve your appearance, build self confidence and help delay the aging process.

Remember that you need to do something physical every day. If you don't use your joints, quite simply they'll tighten up with age to create the stooped, bent and worn out appearance we so often associate with old age.

Studies have shown that people with arthritis experience less pain if they continue to keep their joints flexible. As one gets older, the bones tend to get brittle which is why it is common for senior citizens to break bones and especially their hips when they fall.

Eating right, getting proper sleep and learning to relax are all very valuable in maintaining a healthy body and mind. And keep in mind that eating healthy foods and avoiding those high in fats, sodium and cholesterol will help decrease your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and associated problems.

Personal development self help blog:

14th June

Six easy steps to Get Where You Want to Go - without the Stress:

self help goal setting article by Carol Halsey The comment I hear most frequently from business people is that they feel overwhelmed with work, and are often playing the game of "catch up." But there is a way for getting it all done without being overwhelmed.

You are probably thinking, "but you don't understand - all the phone calls, on the spot decisions, immediate tasks." But I do understand. These are the realities of business.

However, a little preplanning and goal setting can ease the daily pressures and find you additional time each day - as much as an hour - and relieve a whole lot of stress. It boils down to you being more in control of how your day goes, and not being controlled by the situations that hit you.

1. Identifying and writing down your goals, short and long term, is the beginning. You may already have done this, but how do you accomplish them in a timely manner?

2. Scheduling your time is the next step. The question is then, how do you plan your time to accomplish goals when you are under the gun with crises, deadlines and interruptions?

3. Start with a daily "to do" list, which identifies the uncompleted tasks required to meet each goal.

4. Next, prioritize those tasks in order of which must be accomplished first. We sometimes are so caught up in the urgent matters of the day that we fail to schedule time to undertake the important tasks that will lead us to our goals.

5. Allot time each day to address these tasks, in the form of blocks of quiet time, at least one hour, to work these tasks, and to plan. Find the most creative and productive time for you and use this time wisely. Let phone calls go to voice mail to be returned later.

This time is an appointment you make with yourself, and treat as any other business commitment. It gives you the sense of being in control of where you are going, and that you are taking the positive steps to get there. If circumstances arise that infringe on your quiet time, and surely at some time they will, reschedule for later in the day. You will soon realize the importance of having this quiet time.

6. Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to plan for tomorrow. Identify and prioritize tasks necessary to reach your goals on a daily "to do" list. However, be careful not to commit every minute, but allow flexibility for the unexpected and urgent events that surely will occur, and it also allows you to reschedule your quiet time if necessary. �2001 Carol Halsey

Carol Halsey is Founder and President of Business Organizing Solutions. She is a professional organizer, consultant, speaker, and author of "93 Organizing Tips to Simplify Your Business Life." You can get this booklet and articles, ideas and a free Idea Kit, filled with simple tips for saving time, simply by visiting her web site: Http://www.PilesToFiles.com

Personal development self help blog:

13th June

Single Living Strategies for Unfair Work Demands

self help Contributors article Self Help Happiness at work, on the job article: Single Savers

�I would like to see some information geared to single households and some suggestions on how to deflect some of the nasty comments about being "selfish." I'm usually the one that gets to stay at work late because I "don't have a husband or children to go home to."

I have worked full time my whole life and would like to take some time (before retirement) to relax, pursue my interests, exercise and live life. I am a different person when not overscheduled and stressed.

Please can you help by soliciting suggestions from other single readers regarding saving, cutting expenses, and lifestyle? � --- Margaret

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Start Taking Classes

A number of years ago, I was the one who always worked late and had to go in on days off to finish up jobs. When a community college opened near my home, I enrolled in several courses, one at a time.

I had a legitimate reason (not excuse) to leave on time to get to class two evenings each week. I chose subjects I wanted to know more about. The classes were very inexpensive and most lasted six to eight weeks. You can also audit classes for free or inexpensively, again in subjects that interest you.

I was having so much fun doing this that my boss and his family joined in some classes, and we all took "Line Dancing" together. Just tell them that you have to be at college immediately after work.

Not everyone has to know you are taking a course on Travel, Foreign Language, or Small Engine Repair. -- Bettie

Talk to Your Boss

You may not have kids or a husband, but you still have things to do at home. Tell the boss that you have commitments in life that are outside the office and need the workload to be distributed evenly.

He or she needs to change the work pattern in your office, not you. It is time that the others do some of the extra workload. If they complain that "you are being selfish," I would say it is not selfish to want time outside the office.

Then drop the subject. They have no right to ask you to do more than your fair share. My best friend was a single mother who worked 40 plus hours every week plus had her boys in Scouts, plays, baseball and more. If she could do it for over 20 years, then they can as well. -- Csinbad

Personal development self help blog:

12th June

Recreation

Your RECREATION activities are what charge your batteries when you take time off to do the things you really enjoy.

When did you last have fun? Have you developed a Hobby that you truly love, that allows your creative energy to flow and makes you feel happy every minute that you are engrossed in it?

How was your last Holiday? These self help suggestions will help to get the ideas flowing for more fun in your time off.

Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year By Toni Coleman

It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans. Many of your friends will be away or out with their significant others. You can't believe it's been a whole year and you are facing another dateless New Years Eve. What can you do?

If the above sounds familiar, it may be time for some quiet reflection that allows you to really think about what this holiday means to you and how you want to observe it. You may have more options available to you than you realize, especially if you feel stuck on that one idea of going out with a date and "celebrating". If you tap into your creativity, you can design an evening that works for you and helps you to begin the New Year on the right note.

The following is a general list of possibilities that you can add to:

* Plan an evening out with friends. You can go to dinner, a movie, a club or theatre or a combination of these.

* Plan an evening in with friends. Have a pot luck meal, rent a few movies, splurge of some great desserts and just enjoy each other's company.

* Plan an evening out alone. Go to a favorite restaurant for a quiet meal, catch a movie, go hear a band or visit your favorite pub where you may be able to connect with some people you know.

* Plan a nice evening home alone. You can either cook or order take out from your favorite restaurant, rent a favorite movie, splurge on a special dessert or all of the above. Perhaps you would rather have a light meal followed by a long soak in the tub or a few hours in your favorite cozy spot, reading a good book.

* Start a quiet celebration early on the 31st. Treat yourself to a massage, manicure, facial, work-out with a personal trainer, time in the steam room or sauna- to name a few possibilities.

Then you can follow this up with one of the above for your evening. If you end up home alone, you will have had a day of pleasant self-indulgence that will leave you rested, relaxed and ready for a good night's sleep.

If you choose a night alone on New Year's Eve you may want to have a special plan for New Year's Day. Some possibilities?

* Check with friends about parties that may be going on at the home of an acquaintance or hosted in a local restaurant or pub.

* If the weather is nice, consider doing something outdoors. Many areas of the country have ski areas within a two-hour drive that offer a whole range of outdoor activities. You can invite along a friend (s) or go solo, depending upon who is available. Hiking, biking, ice-skating or any snow related activities (depending upon the area you live in) are perfect at this time of year.

It's also a great way to begin the year's resolution of getting (staying) in shape and leading a healthier lifestyle. After an outdoor workout, hot chocolate and a meal of comfort food by a warm fire really hits the spot.

* If you are not into planning/participating in something out, consider a project at home. Many of us have unfinished organizing, paperwork and decorating tasks that we would love to get handled and off our to-do lists.

How great it would feel to tackle some of this and bask in that feeling of accomplishment afterwards.

This does not have to be a day of drudgery. Have music or a movie playing in the background. Take time out for a nice brunch, lunch or dinner. An early dinner with a friend would be a nice way to wrap up it all up.

Whatever you decide to do with this holiday, keep in mind it's significance of a new beginning. What a great time to start fresh and set those goals that will lead to the life changes you desire. Taking action will make a difference. The choice is up to you. Have a restful, pleasant and productive New Year. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman is a psychotherapist and relationship coach who specializes in working with singles who are trying to create healthy, lasting relationships. Her coaching also focuses on helping people to achieve happiness and a greater level of fulfillment in their present, single life.

Toni has over 20 years of experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She has authored articles related to meeting, dating, communicating, single life and healing from relationship loss.

Many of these can be found on over thirty relationship oriented web sites. Toni designed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships class, which is a tele-workshop that teaches singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. Her free email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com

Personal development self help blog:

11th June

Self Image

Your SELF IMAGE shapes the way you feel about yourself and what you expect from your life and the people around you.

You do deserve the best that life has to offer you, so why not develop a genuine expectation that life will always be abundant, supportive, fun and joyful?

***How many mornings did you get up, looking in the mirror and thinking, "Oh boy, how can I present myself to the world looking like that? How can I ever be successful if this is what I am?"

And how many mornings did you get up, looking in the mirror and thinking, "Today is the day! I can feel it in my bones, in my toes, in my fingertips. I'll sweep them of their feet!"

Do you recall what in both cases the day looked like? On mornings like the ones described first, you could actually just go back to bed and sleep the day away, because whatever it was that surrounded you, was negative and wouldn't help you to reach your goal at all. On mornings like the second, you could just not go wrong.

Your smile, your touch, your complete presentation charmed each and everyone around you!

What was the difference? No, not a new, expensive dress or suit you recently bought. And not a recent visit to the beautician. Not the new pair of shoes and not the weight you just lost.

In fact it may have been a day on which you just dressed in something you had been wearing many times before, gained some extra pounds, and had a pimple on your nose. But it was your perception that made the difference!

continue reading HA10 The Power of Perception, self help article by J Marques

Personal development self help blog:

10th June

What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot To Cold

self help relationships article by Toni Coleman

Everything was great. We had been dating for 6 months. We shared the same interests, felt very at ease together, had (often) discussed future plans and had even spent some of the holidays together. Our relationship seemed right on track and just right in general. Then, without warning, he said he "needs some time to think and figure things out." He stopped calling and rarely returned my calls. When he did, I was often met with silence on the other end of the line.

When I asked "what happened", I just got a verbal run around of excuses about how busy he is and/or how much stress he is under right now.

What happened? What did I do? I don't know what to think.

Does the above scenario sound at all familiar? If so, you can relate to being confused and stunned over the sudden change in a boyfriend's/girlfriend's behavior. Now think about this - What if your relationship wasn't what you thought it was? What if unspoken issues had existed all along? What if there were signs you chose to ignore or just didn't see? Are any of these possible?

Probably. This sudden change in a couple's relationship is reported quite a bit by individuals who have just broken up with a significant other. Unfortunately, it leaves the person who has been "dumped" with feelings of low self-esteem, regret, inadequacy and anger.

There is often no real closure, as the couple is never able (willing) to talk through what went wrong or was never right with their relationship.

So, how can you know what the problem was and hope to avoid a repeat of this hurtful experience? You can do this by examining your failed relationship and gaining insight and understanding about what just wasn't right between you.

In order to assist you with this; I am providing a basic framework of the relationship stages a couple must pass through TOGETHER in order to get to a place of shared intimacy and commitment.

If either person's feelings change before, during or after one of these stages; it is not necessarily the "fault" of the other individual. It is simply a statement about the individuals' rightness (or not) for each other.

It is also a reflection of each individual�s relationship readiness and ability to handle long-term, committed intimacy.

How an individual handles their changing feelings and resultant behavior toward the other is a subject for another article.

Relationships have stages. We have all read articles and books by authors who have come up with their own unique number or names for these. I will try to take a very basic approach to this and keep it simple and as universal as possible.

Attraction This is the first stage. It is physical, intellectual and emotional - on a very surface level. Girl sees boy and vice versa. They flirt, talk and get a very basic sense of the other. They are usually responding to a physical pull. He/she is cute, funny, charming, interesting to talk to, etc.

Without attraction, first dates wouldn't happen. It can therefore be assumed that the other person finds us attractive if we have gotten to a first date.

In a way, this is the easy one. We are unknowns to each other. Things progress from this point or they do not. Hurt feelings are minimal. We usually chalk up rejection to; "I'm not his type". There is no need to analyze or wonder what went wrong.

If both people feel a strong enough level of attraction continues to exist after a few dates, they usually move along to stage two. However, if one finds the other has unattractive characteristics or behaviors, this can lead to an abrupt change in the relationship.

Remember, these behaviors or characteristics would be ones that would manifest in the very early stage of dating. Some examples: frequently late, never offers to pay, dresses or grooms sloppily, rude to waitress, etc.

Romantic Relating In this second stage, couples begin to test out the idea of themselves as a unit. Dating is no longer brand new. It is more comfortable and predictable. Sharing romantic dinners and exciting special interests are typical dates during this new and fun time in a growing relationship.

During this stage, flowers are given for no special reason and loving cards are slipped back and forth with words like "thinking of you". It's a happy carefree time, when lovers tend to idealize, romanticize and overlook that which can be right in front of them. The relationship seems effortless and spontaneous.

Affection is shared openly and frequently. One's partner seems perfect. There is rarely conflict during this period. The partners often share the unrealistic belief that their relationship is so special and unique that it will always stay this way.

This stage can last from three or four months up to more than a year. It is actually the shortest stage that any long-term relationship goes through. It is also the one we wish we could hold on to forever and long for when it is gone.

This is the stage that love poems speak about. It is also believed (falsely) by many that this is what long-term committed love will always be like.

Many relationships begin to stumble at the end of this period. For that is when reality begins to set in. As partners begin to experience some disagreement, conflict and/or shared challenges- the relationship shifts as do the dynamics between the partners. Though many relationships move past this stage, a number do not. Why? There are many reasons. These can include:

* lack of readiness for the challenges of the next stage

* issues with commitment and fidelity

* immature beliefs about what relationships should be

* being stuck on an idealized, romanticized notion of love

If one of the partners is not ready for a less than perfect and more demanding stage of love, they will exhibit this in their behavior, language and overall level of openness and availability towards the other.

This is when the couple begins to think more seriously of a future with each other. The focus tends to be; how well do we get along, do we share similar interests and do I want to date this person exclusively?

Growth Through Negotiation This is a very challenging and growing time in all relationship building. Reality comes into play as the couple settles into the comfort and predictability of their togetherness. Little issues can become blown-up into large conflicts.

The individuals begin to compete for their share of control and their place in this growing union. Differences can become highlighted instead of minimized. This is often the period when couples experience their first fight. Hurt feelings can occur as that once loving and completely accepting other person airs a criticism or voices annoyance or concern. Often, the individuals believe it is the other person who needs to change.

This is where the need for (or lack of) communication, problem-solving and negotiating skills becomes apparent. For without an adequate measure of these, disagreements can break down into screaming matches where insults and recriminations are fired like missiles.

If the individuals can listen, be supportive of each other's feelings, compromise and not lay blame, they have a good chance of working through this stage and achieving a true intimacy.

This does not mean they will share all the same beliefs and opinions or that they will necessarily even like the other's view. However, having and showing respect is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

Not only will relationships fail without these relationship-building strengths, they can also abruptly end if one of the partners decides that they don't feel the same way about this person in their less than idealized state.

The reality may not be to their liking or just something they are not ready for in general. Either way, they will pull back, present differently or disappear without warning. How they handle their changing feelings is further information about their level of relationship readiness and maturity in general.

Intimacy Intimacy is the reward that is gained when a couple has successfully worked through the difficult last stage of negotiation. It is almost like a new coming together with much greater self (and other) awareness.

This new information can work to solidify the union or give one of both individuals enough new information about the other to require a reassessment of their desire to remain together.

Each person looks at the other in their (naked) state and asks; "is this the person I want to be with"? Here their individual differences are highlighted. The early romantic haze has cleared. What they have to offer to each other and to a future life together comes into play.

This is a time when couples often begin to contemplate each other's attributes in a more practical way. They look at the other's strengths and weaknesses. They evaluate each other's potential as a future spouse, parent, provider, caregiver, partner, etc.

Relationships can be tested more during this time. Infidelity is one dysfunctional way that some individuals do this. Often, this leads to the end of the relationship. When differences can be seen, aired and accepted, the couple has a good chance of moving on together from this place. Essentially, they have decided they want to be with the other, warts and all.

When the behavior of one or both partners change, it is generally because they have made a conscious or unconscious decision regarding the wrongness of the other for them or for the type of relationship they seek.

Commitment This is the final stage of relationship building. Once individuals have reached this place, they are ready to cement their bond. While much growth and work will lay ahead in a future life together, they are ready to begin this life soon.

New challenges arise during each stage, and will happen here as well. However, if the couple has successfully worked through the previous stages, they should have many of the tools they need.

The external problems and pressures that come with life will test their resolve and commitment over the years. They may need to reassess, re-negotiate and renew their feelings and commitment. Fortunately, they will be in possession of the basic tools required.

If they choose well to begin with, they should be successful. As you evaluate your failed relationship, note the stage you were in when the change occurred. Chances are that the necessary level of readiness and maturity was not present in one or both of you. Perhaps one of you decided that this is not the kind of partner or relationship I am seeking.

This new information and insight should help you to choose a future partner who is better suited to you and desirous of the same kind of relationship that you are. Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia.

She specializes in working with singles who want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals.

She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly http://www.consum-mate.com

Personal development self help blog:

9th June

Get Speaking by Robert F. Abbot

On a recent Sunday evening, I watched a friend �graduate� from a beginner�s class for stand-up comedians.

Needless to say, I saw many levels of competence and talent as the nine students gave their 10 minute �commencement speeches� before an audience of perhaps 250, mostly friends and family.

Some, obviously, would never make it to prime time. Others have a good chance, given determination and patience. But, what�s striking is that they all got up on the stage and did their acts.

I know it takes courage to stand up on a stage and deliver a conventional speech, and it must take even more to deliver a comedy monologue, especially for the first time.

If you�ve itched to take the stage, but fear holds you back, perhaps their example will give you the extra push you need to take the plunge. The good news is that you can overcome that fear. And you overcome it with two things: knowledge and practice.

Knowledge refers to the strategies, tactics, and techniques used by speakers, and involves learning about the many, diverse elements that go into a speech or presentation.

In a properly-managed learning process you work with the elements individually. In one speech you�ll focus on the way you stand, in another you�ll focus on what you�re doing with your hands, and so on.

With practice, each element becomes more natural and eventually you�ll master and incorporate them all into your speeches - without even thinking about them.

Personally, my big challenge was eye contact. With a background in radio, I had lots of experience with speaking to others, speaking to literally thousands of people at a time. But, put me in a room with a dozen people looking back and I felt that gut-wrenching chill that novice speakers know so well. After a few speeches, though, I was over it. I had enough knowledge of the mechanics of speaking to get over my fear.

That takes us to the matter of practice. The only way you�ll learn to use your newfound knowledge is through practice - standing in front of an audience and using what you�ve learned.

The elements only become natural and automatic through practice. And here�s a bonus: you also become increasingly familiar with what happens in the audience as you speak. That allows you to adjust your content or presentation on the fly, to get the results you want.

For me, the path to enjoyable public speaking - and I now love it - came through Toastmasters. If you�re not familiar with it, it�s a non-profit organization, made up of local clubs, where aspiring speakers learn from each other. I strongly recommend it. And, hey! If you go on to do a comedy act in front of a crowd one day, maybe I�ll be cheering for you.

In summary, don�t think of public speaking as one big leap; think instead of learning a series of elements one by one, and increasing your proficiency with them through practice.

Robert F. Abbott writes and publishes Abbott�s Communication Letter. Learn how you can use communication to help achieve your goals, by reading articles or subscribing to this ad-supported newsletter. An excellent resource for leaders and managers, at: http://www.communication-newsletter.com

Personal development self help blog:

8th June

Dating Tip -This year� Be thankful for being single� by Andrew Clacy

Dating tip -Count your blessings this year� it�s not so bad being single after all� Too many Americans hang their happiness on being in a relationship

Think about this dating tip every day & witness the miracles that can come into your life. Below is a single�s thankful list, try & live an attitude of gratitude�

�Be thankful for everyone in your life, everyone is a teacher.

�Be thankful for the lessons you have learned from past relationships & learn from them now.

�Ring a relation to tell them you love them.

�Include the un-included.

�Write a note of thanks to someone.

�Be thankful for the �little� things in life.

�Drop all criticisms & be thankful to yourself.

�Be thankful you have an opportunity to start a relationship with someone new.

�Be thankful you are not in a negative relationship. It is much better to be single than in an unhappy relationship.

�Think about all the good you have learnt about yourself since you have been single. In short, be thankful in all that you are doing. Just remember the greatest risk in life is not to take any risk at all!! .

http://www.datingmagic.net offers dating tips for men to find single women. Andrew Clacy is a freelance writer. A single Dad with 2 boys, he believes in getting out. He has studied extensively on romance & human emotions, and he is constantly researching relationships and romance. Exploring ways to add romance to electronic communication is also another pursuit he enjoys.

Personal development self help blog:

7th June

My other life is exciting, is yours? by Garry Munro

My other life is exciting, is yours?

Everyone dreams of a more exciting life or a life that is different to the one they are living now.

As you dream about your other life, you know the one, where you�re slimmer or fatter or the one where you meet your perfect partner and live happily ever after or you have a million dollars or you pass the exam and go to the top of the class, the dreams go on and on and we all have them.

Dreaming alone however will not give you that other life because you need to do far more than just dream, dreaming is only the first step in making things happen.

To turn your dreams into reality the next step is to write your dreams down and prioritise them, then plan what is your very next step or to put it another way, what action do you need to take right now to start making that dream a reality.

Well, what are you waiting for, you have a dream, you have written it down and you know what is the very first step you must now take, so go ahead, take that first step, you�ll feel better for just having started.

You�re now on your way to achieving your dream, take a bow, pat yourself on the back and then move on and take the next step and then the next.

Before you know it, your steps go from a slow walk to a jog and then to a full sprint to the finish line of achieving whatever it is that started out as your dream.

Sound easy, well it�s not but you must make a start, have the passion and desire for achieving your dreams, decide to work hard at making your dreams become a reality, decide to do whatever it takes and start stepping your way to success NOW!

Garry Munro is a successful consultant, speaker & coach in the area of self-development.

Based in Sydney Australia he runs his own business "Minds Alike" and works with small business owners and individuals assisting them to set & achieve their goals.

Visit his blog site at http://www.mindsalike.blogspot.com for more articles on success, business and self motivation.

Personal development self help blog:

6th June

Does the Fear of Rejection Control Your Life?

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Jay sought my help because he wanted to get married and have children, yet the relationship of his dreams seemed to elude him. When I first met Jay, he was an attractive, creative, brilliant and successful businessman in his middle 30�s. And he had a great sense of humor. It wasn�t that women weren�t attracted to him. He had no trouble having first dates with interesting, intelligent, and attractive women. But it never went anywhere. Jay was baffled.

When I first started to counsel Jay, he was very quiet. It felt like pulling teeth to get him to share anything with me, especially his feelings. He stayed in his head, brilliant in his ability to articulate, but flat and unemotional. He words were carefully planned out and delivered. He seemed to always be tense. It was very hard to connect with him.
�Jay, something seems to be in the way of your spontaneity. Are you aware of how carefully you pick your words?�
�Yes.�
�There must be a good reason you do this. Do you know what that is?�
�I don�t want to say the wrong thing. I don�t want to make a fool of myself.�
�And what are you afraid will happen if you say the wrong thing or make a fool of yourself?
�I will be rejected.�
�So most of the time in conversation your intention is to avoid rejection?�
�Yes. I�m terrified of rejection. I will do anything to avoid it.�
�Jay, what are you telling yourself it means if someone rejects you?�
�It means that they don�t like me because I�m inadequate and unworthy.�
�So in your mind, everyone, especially attractive women, have the power to define your adequacy and worth?�
�Yeah, I guess so.�
�So when you are with women, your intention is to have control over how they feel about you so they won�t reject you. Yet you seem to get rejected over and over. How do you accoun